That Moment I Realized I Was a Huge Asshole and Had to Change

Two years ago I snapped at my kid for playing with his blocks too loudly.

I was tired, hungover and irritable. It was a Wednesday. Covid had struck and sent everyone to work from home, schools were closed and the world was seemingly coming apart at the seams.

Things were rapidly changing, my family needed my best, and I was utterly failing to rise to the occasion.

Frustrated after realizing my tone was far too harsh, I went to the restroom to splash some water on my face and cool off.

I looked into the face of a lost soul.

I’d let my hair and beard grow wild and rather homeless looking. I was 50 pounds (22kg) overweight. I stayed up late into the nights drinking and playing video games. I woke up every morning depleted and even more depressed than the day before.

In short, I was lost in the Wilderness.

But it was there, in that mirror, where I saw the ghost of my future.

I saw my hopes and dreams going up in flames. I saw myself in the midst of squandering a life some might find enviable. I saw myself failing and fading away to nothing. If you’ve been there, you know that feeling; but I hope you don’t.

But that afternoon, I resolved to not go quietly into that night.

It took almost a year, but I got healthy again in body. I got back into running. I quit drinking. I lost the bad weight.

I started feeling better. Healthy bodies lead to healthy minds. That’s when the writing started. Daily writing is to the mind what daily exercise is to the body. And they both have compounding benefits. Day 1 is not the same as Day 300.

That writing has now brought new clarity, discipline, and focus, which led to new professional and creative opportunities I could have only dreamed only mere months ago.

One good thing begets the next. But you have to get started.

Don’t wait another day.

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